Lately, I have been seeing a lot of memes, statutes, comments, etc about whether or not receiving support from someone means they are a real friend. Me personally, I see both sides. Kind of. Let me explain what I mean.
I recently asked a friend what does showing support for their friends mean to them. The response was: providing encouragement, showing support via social media, showing up to show support (if there are events involved), and giving shoutouts. There are a few more things that could be added (giving advice, making referrals, supporting financially, and more) but I agree with all of this. Question is, if someone doesn’t show support, does that no longer make them a real friend? I honestly do not know the true answer. Starting a business and putting yourself out to the world is hard and extremely nerve-wrecking so knowing that your friends have your back is such an amazing feeling. However, what if what you’re presenting isn’t something worth supporting. For instance, anyone I knew who joined #WakeUpNow or #ItWorks, I wasn’t really interested so I backed away a little bit. Or what about the homeboy with the trashy mixtape? How do you handle being a “good friend” in those situations? In what ways do you show “support” here? Are you expected to pretend you are a proud friend? Or should you provide a little constructive criticism? Would your friend even be open to hearing the advice? What are your thoughts on this? I am curious to know.
On the flip side….what should you do when your work is of quality and your friends slide in the background? Cut them off? Keep them around?
For me, currently, I have decided to categorize people. Meaning if there are rewards to reap from the seeds I have been sowing, only certain people will gain from the fruits of my labor along with me. For everyone else, I do not plan to pull out any scissors to start cutting. However, the way I prioritize those in my life is definitely changing. I launched this blog in August and have received more compliments and encouragement from strangers and even exes than some friends. (Emphasis on “some friends” guys. Lol.) Crazy, right?! No, it is not. This happens all of the time. I know quite a few business owners and I really pay attention to their support systems. I have also had conversations with some who warned this would happen so I am not surprised or upset. The change in behaviors forces you to put a lot in perspective. There is no need to blast anyone publicly or shade them via memes or whatever. Just continue to grind and stay focused. I have had quite a few situations when I’ve brought up what I have going on and the conversation just went…….stale. Do not ignore that but you do not have to acknowledge it either. To me, it is more important to direct your energy towards those who are actually there. Show them how much you appreciate the love shown instead of wasting time complaining about the “gypsies” in your life. Also, we have to stop using the amount of time we have known someone to determine what they should and should not be doing. People will come into your life and do more than those you have known most of your life.
I hesitated posting this for so long because I did not want it to come off the wrong way. I did not want it to be looked as shade or passive-aggressiveness because that is not the purpose of me writing this. Hopefully it can be encouragement to someone who feels alone in the journey of entrepreneurship. I mean, if anyone feels guilty reading this, that says more about you than any of these words could.
With love and support,